Ego

During meditation I surprised myself thinking on a few subjects, having contradictory thoughts on peoples and situations for their deeds which were against the way I would have done it. And my thoughts started to ramify into yet another story, or maybe not another but actually the same old story, of a person who thinks himself different then another, who thinks he knows best and who think that the others should look more carefully into his mouth.
And so I started to look more closely into the process, why does the ego does it? Probably many things I write about now have been said before but I don`t remember, and even if they were, the fact that it`s happening again can only mean that I haven`t learned the lesson yet. So i will go on, maybe one day I will get bored of "myself" and finally decide to move on.

The ego is the sum of the thoughts we have. Our thoughts "give birth" to a character, a person, an individual. Some people are smarter, some are dumber. Some people are better then others, even if "better" is relative, and so on.  There`s 8 billion personalities and each and every one think they know best. Even if they pretend to be humble or "inferior" to another, make no mistake, that was still their choice, because of the fact that of course "they know better".
So the ego is the role you play, husband or wife, employee or employer, rich or poor, etc - the story you tell yourself each and every morning and which you now take to be true.

The ego is born from conflict. You can only know who you are by comparing yourself with the others. From this comparison you make up your mind as to who you are and who you are not. If you think about it, you realize you can recreate yourself every moment. You can simply decide to be another person and it will happen. Of course as long as you fully believe you can change into that which you desire. However this is not the topic of this blog. The internet is filled with "get rich receipes" or whatever "fetishes" you might have thinking that it will change your life. I already found out that it doesn`t.
Being another person would just create another sort of conflict, another pain to carry on your shoulders. And so, the answer to the whole thing would be that you have to drop the ego, this personality, this thing you call you or yourself, in order to be free, in order to end the state of conflict.

So, about an hour ago, I was going through this state of conflict, imaginarily arguing with pros and cons as to why the whole situation would have been better if "done my way". The subtle message was, that things had to be a certain way in order for me to be "happy". And things never happen this way because, of course, the other egos think that they also know better then you. How can you ever find peace this way? You can`t. You will go through this perpetual state of conflict, of unhappiness, until the day you die, and maybe even beyond.

So how do we drop the ego?
A few weeks back I was thinking about the same thing. And then I first tried to localize it. I thought that finding its place i can make it back of or something. Unfortunately they didn`t invent a spray that can take care of the problem, yet.

If you alone remained on the earth, nobody to fight with, would you have an ego? You would not have an ego. The other is needed to create it; the other is a must. ego is a relationship, it is not in you.  Remember, the ego is not in you, it is NOT LOCATED within you. It is always located within you and the other - somewhere in between, where fight exists. (Osho)

Yeah, like that sorts out my problem, thanks! -.-
So, I guess it is really not that easy. However, feel free to read what Osho says about it in here.

Then I realised, you simply cant fight fire with fire. You cannot understand the ego. You cannot reason with it. For the simple fact that the ego is a product of the human mind, or maybe they are the same, I don`t know. Using your mind to fight the mind would not be very smart. In order to step outside the ego, you have to step outside the mind. Stop yourself from thinking, but do not force it.
Using any sort of means in order to obtain a result is of the mind, is the same thing that give birth to the ego in the first place. What to do then? Simply be aware of your thoughts, let them roam through your head until they get bored, or until you get bored and drop them out. Cherish the moments of peace in your life, do not run away, do not look up for things to do in order to pass the time, in order to not feel lonely or bored anymore.

Watch your thoughts and the stories they give birth to, until one day when you will realize how impotent the whole process of thinking is, and how it brings no results whatsoever, and then you will be free. And you will stop being a slave of the mind but a true master.

Hope this helps.
I`m off to see what conflictual situations I can give birth to in order to "test" what I learned tonight ;)